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Channel: Survivor of Rape and Incest
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Here we go again...

I'm at a serious low and continuing to sink. I keep telling myself I'm OK.I'm not. I'm not OK, not even close.I keep welling up at work. I dig my nails into my palms to keep the tears away. Everything...

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Maybe Tomorrow

I feel like I'm in a pressure cooker and ready to implode, all of the ugliness inside me pouring out.Nice visual...I almost went to the hospital on the weekend to check myself in to the psych...

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I don't know anymore

I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doingI go to bed every nightI lie there waiting for sleepSometimes it comesSometimes it doesn'tI get out of bed when the alarm goes offI have a smokeI showerI...

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And here's ugly

I'm working with C again (thank God) and we've been working on the feelings of abandonment I'm experiencing.When I started writing about my mother the pain and sadness came crashing in. Talking about...

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Stress Management

Any advice?

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Horrible

I'm in a fairly horrible place right now. Thanks everyone for your suggestions for stress relief, I think the best way to reduce my stress is to quit my job!! I'll try to be write a little more often...

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Light Duty

I've lost my mind. I am extremely stressed out. By the time Friday rolls around I'm a complete mess. My temper is rearing it's ugly head. I can't sit still. I can't sleep. I stare blindly at the...

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Vacation

Whew... I have the rest of the week off. It was a bit of a fight to get it, but I won the battle!Today was my first day to sleep in and relax a bit - well that's what it was supposed to be, but I can't...

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struggles

I've been avoiding this place for a long time. I haven't wanted to deal with anything related to this and coming here is just a reminder of what I'm trying to ignore.I've tried to write a few times but...

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That's My Job

I was going through my music folder on my computer earlier today and came across this song. As soon as I saw it, my heart stopped. At least it felt like it. I played it. And I cried. The tears just...

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New beginnings?

Well... this sucks.With the help of C and our session today I think I've reached a plateau of sorts. I think I have healed as much as I can, at least for this point in my life. That's great. That's...

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The Journey?

When do you know when you've healed as much as you can? How do you know? Do you ever really heal?

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well...

You all are right I think.I don't think it's possible to heal 100%. Every experience, good or bad, leaves a mark on us and that mark stays forever. I believe it's how we deal with those marks that...

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10 years

Yesterday marked the 10 year anniversary since I was raped. It was a horrible day, but not just because of what the day was to me. I quit my job. My fiance (we got engaged on Christmas Day) presented...

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Just One Thing After Another

Does this plague everyone? Is everyone else in the world constantly getting slammed with one fucking thing after another? It seems be what my life has always been and will always be. I'm not...

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Money Matters

I'm annoyed. I'm in a place where I need help but can't get it. I can't afford it!Thanks to the supposed boom in Alberta all of the free counselling services are overloaded and the waiting period is a...

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Running On Empty

I feel like screaming. Yelling. Shouting. Breaking something.I'm fucked no matter which way I turn. I've been on my own for almost a year now. In that year I think I've undone everything C or T helped...

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Untitled

I feel inadequate. I feel like a failure. I feel lost.The inadequacy is partly from my mother. It seems that nothing I do or how hard I work is not good enough. Last week she had me in tears. More than...

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Expectations

I am fuming. I am so fucking pissed off that I don't know what to do with the anger but I'm not turning it on myself so where do I put it?Am I not allowed to be mad and frustrated? It seems by J's...

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WTF is wrong with people

This is a rant about the serious decline of society... I live by what I think is a basic rule: Treat others how I want to be treated. Easy and simple. Or so I thought.I was grocery shopping last night...

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The Cycle

Fuck.I stopped writing because it's always the same thing over and over again. "I feel like crying""I'm sad""I feel worthless"Blah blah fucking blah.Can you tell I'm angry? I am so fucking sick of all...

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3rd time, 3 different people

I was sexually assaulted in December 2008. Again. I just about lost it. I walked into my house and tried calling the police but I couldn't even dial the phone. I just stood there shaking, so full of...

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It's been a while...

Wow, how time flies and life just happens.I've come here many times over the past few years to write but I always delete what I wrote for some reason. I think it's because I feel guilty that I don't...

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Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

My Story, My Shame 2.0 My very last post was all sunshine and flowers. I said I had healed and that life was wonderful. Please allow me to rephrase that! Life as a whole is wonderful! I love my family...

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New Beginnings

I have been thinking a lot about coming back and starting to blog again to share my journey and hopefully help people along the way. I have decided to start fresh on a new blog as this is a new...

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